


To Have and to Hold

by DepressingGreenie



Series: Fanwork Like it's 2012 [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Artist Steve Rogers, Avengers Tower, Developing Relationship, Domestic Avengers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hiccups, Hugs, Humor, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Protective Tony Stark, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers Gets a Hug, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve hates the cold, Tears, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark's workshop, Touch-Starved, hug and fly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24714979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DepressingGreenie/pseuds/DepressingGreenie
Summary: Five times Tony found a reason to hug Steve and the one time he didn't need one.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Fanwork Like it's 2012 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785793
Comments: 9
Kudos: 200
Collections: Captain America/Iron Man Bingo, Captain America/Iron Man Fanwork Like it's 2012 Fest





	1. The Five Times

**Author's Note:**

> For the **Cap-IronMan** [Like it’s 2012 fest!](https://cap-ironman.dreamwidth.org/2077232.html)  
> [Anon's Prompt](https://cap-ironman.dreamwidth.org/2077232.html?thread=14978864#cmt14978864): hugs [any verse] - Steve and Tony find increasingly ludicrous reasons to hug
> 
> This is also for the Stony Bingo 2020 Round 1 prompt [ “Tower” [Y5]](https://imgur.com/a/GDtDq3k) Most of this fic happens in Avengers Tower.

**1.**

In short, Tony doesn’t know what drove him to Steve’s room that night instead of his own. It wasn’t like he just thought ‘It’s a cold night, better go cuddle Steve to make sure he is okay’.

He wasn’t on good terms with the man, they barely spoke, and when they did they always kept it curt and professional. They don’t even make small talk about the weather with one another. They weren’t friends, they were only just teammates. They kept a healthy distance, like an unspoken line not to be crossed, and that was that.

JARVIS had shut off his equipment saying that he had to get some rest. He was frustrated, but there was nothing he could do about it but get some rest, serves him right for bringing an AI and handing over what amounted to full control of everything.

With sluggish steps he had made his way up the common space, hoping to get one last coffee before bed. Standing in the kitchen holding his coffee he noticed the cold, harsh wind blowing against the tower, the sound of rain hitting the windows.

There was no thought or reason, it was if he were in a trance, Tony quietly made his way down the hall, coffee still in hand. He reached out and opened the door to Steve’s room, not sparing a thought as to why it wasn’t locked.

As soon and the door opened moans of pain and distressed cries assaulted his eyes. Tony set down his coffee on a table as he quickly made his way to Steve’s bedroom. He quickly opened Steve’s bedroom door but froze at the threshold. Steve was having a nightmare. He didn’t know how to handle nightmares. You could repair anything electronic you gave him, jury-rig and problem, solve any coding issue you gave him, but people? People were hard.

Carefully Tony crept up to the bed, all the hair on the back of his neck were standing on end. He was very aware of how dangerous this is. He’d seen Steve bend a street light in half with his own hands in order to make a giant hook to catch an ocean monster that tried to make a meal of the Manhattan Cruise Terminal a month ago, he was very aware how breakable he was to a super soldier without his armour. Armour which JARVIS had locked down for the night.

_‘no, n-… NO… please’_

With shaking hands Tony grabbed the side of the mattress and gave it a hard shake, hopping that would wake the troubled shoulder. “Hey! Wake up!” he shouts. Steve flinches, flinging his arm out.

_‘don’t’_

Tony froze. He looked up at Steve, trying to make out his face in the dark. Steve’s face was pinched, every inch of his expression screamed pain. “You need to wake up, Cap!” he tries again.

Shaking the bed doesn’t seem to be doing much help. He was going to have to try something else.

Taking a steadying breath, Tony hops up onto the bed and reaches out for Steve, grabbing his arm. Steve lets out a horrifying scream and twists away, his whole body collapsing in on itself. But Tony doesn’t let go of the arm, falling hard against the mattress and Steve’s side and the man tries to jerk his arm away.

“STEVE!” he shouts.

Steve’s body gives one final jerk and then stills, the man’s harsh pants filling the quiet space of the dark room. His wide eyes were jumping across the room.

“Cap?” he whispers, carefully letting go of the man’s arm.

The man’s shaky breaths suddenly turn wet as his tears start to fall. Steve brings his hands up to cover his face with a pained groan. Tony feels helpless as the man brakes down in front of him, everything the man was painted to be slowly falling away to land at his feet.

“Cap?” he says, reaching out for Steve’s hands. The man allows him to remove his hands without out a fight. Steve stares at the ceiling, eyes distant and lost, tears rolling heavy and fast down his cheeks. It hits him then. He knew Steve was young, he had done the maths in his head, but it had only felt like a number. In his mind the difference between 26 and 92 was small, minimal. 26 didn’t carry any weight until now, watching the man in front of him shake apart under the horrors haunting his mind.

“Steve?” he whispers.

The man turns to him. There was so much fear in the man’s eyes that Tony felt his stomach twist up.

“Hey, it’s kind of cold, huh?” he says.

Steve gives him a weak nod, but doesn’t say anything.

“Mind if I share with you? Two in a bed is always better than one, in my opinion” he says.

“Okay” Steve chokes out.

Tony slips under the covers beside Steve, pressing himself close. Feeling brave, he wraps his arms around Steve.

**2.**

After that night with the nightmare Tony had realised how much distance Steve seemed to put between himself and others. And Tony understood that, it always felt easier to distance yourself from everything when you’ve been hurt. Steve had lost everything. Probably the only three things the man had left was his name, Captain America and his shield. He doesn’t think anyone could fault Steve for trying to save himself any more pain.

But he had also notices how lonely the man was when he thought no one was watching. The way he tense up just watching people hug during movies, he’d seen the longing in the man’s eyes when he watched people hang out and laugh together.

However he know just walking up and hugging Steve might just do more harm than good. So he had been wracking his brain for another solution. And he found one that Steve might just accept.

Tony walks into the communal living room, finding Steve exactly were JARVIS said he was. “Hey, Cap, I wanted to talk to you about something.” he says, nervously wring his hands.

Steve puts aside his book, and turns to him. “Sure. What is it that you want to talk about?”

“You always seem to be tossing yourself from high spaces, now I’m not judging or anything” he says, getting a dark look from Steve. “Really, I’m not.”

“Right” Steve says. “So what are you getting at?”

“I think we should practice some aerial maneuvers for when you throw yourself to the wind. For safety.” Tony says, holding his breath.

Steve stares at him for a moment, the silence stretching on. “Alright” he says finally, getting up from the couch.

“Wonderful! Great!” he says, thankful that Steve actually accepted. “Let’s head down to the gym.”

They make their way over to the Tower’s gym, neither saying a word. Tony keeps looking over to Steve, trying to read his expression which seemed carefully schooled into a natural expression, but the man’s eyes looked a little tight.

Tony pushes open the gym doors and leads Steve inside. They walk over to the high course; various padded platforms at different heights that could be adjusted, all held over a trampoline floor.

“I’ve been think how best to do this, but I don’t think just grabbing hold of your hand would work, I wouldn’t want to dislocate your shoulder” he explains.

“It should be fine” Steve says, stiffly, looking at the platforms, pointedly not meeting his eyes.

“Not really, Cap. I would rather you have full function of your arm in battle” he says, his stomach flipping nervously at the thought of this not going how he planned. “Otherwise it might be difficult to throw your shield”

Steve shrugs, still not looking at him. “I’m ambidextrous. It doesn’t really matter.” He says.

Tony sucks in a calming breath. ‘In through the nose, out through the mouth’ he reminds himself. “But what it your other arm was injured beforehand and you end up with two messes up arms. What then?”

“I’ll-” Steve begins, but Tony quickly interrupts him.

“If you are about to say something like _‘I’ll push through the pain’_ or _‘I’ll deal with it then’_ …” Tony says. “Look Steve, you need to be at your best out there, the people deserve it. Every risk you take upon yourself has to calculated to the nth degree, isn’t that what you told me last week?”

Steve sighs, his shoulders slumping. “Alright, Tony. Alright”

**3.**

Tony looks up from his tablet at the odd noise Steve makes.

“I didn’t think you could get the hiccups” Tony says.

Steve makes a frustrated gesture with his hand, “Yeah, well. I’m just a guy” he says

“You’re a little more than ‘just a guy’” he says. Tony’s heart twinges as the pained look that flashes across the man’s face.

Steve hiccups again and looks away.

Tony puts his tablet down on the kitchen counter and stands up. He walks over to Steve. “Maybe this will help” he says, wrapping his arms around the man.

Steve stiffens in his arms, and for a moment he is worried that Steve was going to punch him. Outside of the man’s nightmares and the training the team had affectionately dubbed the ‘hug and fly’ he had never hugged Steve outright like this. Steve lets out a shaky breath broken by another hiccup, and them relaxes into his arms.

“Ummm…” Steve mumbles awkwardly, his hands bunched up around his sides.

“Hugs should cure the hiccups.” Tony says.

“How?” Steve asks

“Well, it would help stabilise the diaphragm.” Tony explains.

“Oh, okay” Steve says, finally bringing his arms around to hug Tony back. “Is that in any medical journals?” the man asks.

“I don’t know, but it makes sense” Tony says.

“Okay” Steve whispers. “I’ll trust you on this one”

**4.**

The sun slowly sets over New York, bathing in the city in a rich warm glow. The warm summer wind brushes against them soothingly. The view from his Tower was wonderful, always was, but he thinks he never really appreciated just how beautiful it was, not fully anyway. But seeing through Steve’s eyes was like seeing the view for a whole new time. Listening to Steve talk about the lighting and the landscape, showing him the watercolours he made of the view… he wondered if he ever really just looked at world around him.

He doesn’t know what persuaded him to do it, but he offered to hold Steve close so he could get a better look at the view, just to make sure he didn’t fall over the railing. He was even less sure on why Steve even agreed.

Tony let himself take in the moment. The view, the glow of the setting sun, Steve’s smile, the joy in the man’s voice as he pointed out certain aspects of the landscape, the warmth of Steve’s body pressed against his own.

“Is there any reason you guys are recreating the titanic scene?” Tony nearly jumps at Clint’s voice.

“I’m just holding him to make sure he doesn’t fall over the edge” Tony explains, carefully controlling his voice.

Clint gives him a disbelieving look. “And why is he so close to the edge.” The man asks.

Tony give Steve a look. The man’s face is bright red with embarrassment, looking down at the city below. “He’s just appreciating the view” Tony explains.

Clint raises a brow at that. “Doesn’t he have super eyes or something?” Clint says. “He should be able to _‘appreciate the view’_ just fine without all…” Clint makes a rough gesture at the both of them “this… whatever this is”

“Well, yes.” Tony says, working fast to come up with a good explanation. “But the walls and railings kind of get in the way and spoil the view. If you lean out slightly it feels like you’re flying.” Well, maybe it wasn’t the best explanation, but it was something. “Now, I have the armour so falling is not a danger for me. But Steve doesn’t so I am holding him to make sure he doesn’t fall” he says, tightening his arms around Steve’s middle.

“Right…” Clint says, disbelief dripping from his tone. “Then why didn’t you just get your armour to guard him.” The archer asks.

“It’s locked away in my workshop and getting out for this would have just been a hassle. This works just fine” Tony says.

“Whatever, man” Clint says, turning around and walking away.

**5.**

Tony can feel his face heat despite the frigid air at the look Natasha was giving them. He wraps his arms tighter around Steve, pulling the man closer.

“Steve forgot his jacket. I’m just keeping him warm…” Tony explains. To prove his point he runs his hands up and down Steve back, generating warmth.

“Why don’t you just give him yours if you are that worried about him?” Bruce says, the man’s brow furrowed in confusion. A small, tiny, microscopic part of him feels betrayed by Bruce’s question. They were science buddies, the man was meant to stick up for him against the non-sciencey folk.

“Are you kidding?” Tony exclaims “Have you seen how big he is? He wouldn’t fit my jacket” In his arms he feels Steve shrink into himself slightly, if he hadn’t been holding Steve so close he probably would have missed it. “Anyway, this is working just fine” he says.

“You know, Tony, you could have just bought Steve a jacket if it was that much of a problem” Natasha says.

“And deal with the masses and media that would swarm? No thanks. I don’t really feel like dealing with a media frenzy today, today’s just meant to be a quiet, team building activity. I’d like to keep it that way” he says. “And this is working just fine. You should be praising my problem solving skills, Nat”

Natasha rolls her eyes and Bruce lets out a quiet laugh.

“Hey, guys, I got the… park map” Clint sighs when his eyes fall onto Steve and himself.

“Nah, this moment is over, Robin Hood. You missed your chance to comment” Tony says, putting on a smile.

Clint shrugs. “Fine by me”


	2. The +1

**+1**

Tony looks up from his work as JARVIS lowers his music. He puts down his soldering iron and turns around in his chair to see who was visiting him. With the music lowered, he could hear the heavy footfalls he had become very familiar with. Steve.

Steve gives him a shy smile as he walks over to him. “Hey”

“Hey, Steve, what can I do for you?” Tony asks, pushing down the butterflies in his stomach.

“I, uhhh…” Steve says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I know what you have been doing. With the… You know…”

Tony frowns. “I don’t think I understand, Cap” he says, laughing awkwardly.

A flash of frustration crosses Steve face. Tony logically knows that Steve is likely frustrated with himself not being able to get his point across, not Tony. But Tony heart always holds that nagging worry that he and Steve were going to get into some big argument and then their relationship would take a serious hit. In his goal to find ways to hug Steve they had become close, very close, and Tony really doesn’t want to lose that. And the bots would also get sad and mopey because Steve won’t come around to the lab anymore, and he would have to deal with that… and the lab would feel much emptier without Steve’s presence on the couch working away at his sketchbook.

“-with the hugging” Steve says.

“Oh, that” Tony doesn’t have the strength to keep the hurt and disappointment out of his voice. Hugging Steve will have to end, wouldn’t it? Steve would, understandably, want his space. And they would grow distant.

Tony looks over to the couch, not wanting to meet Steve’s eyes. He realises just how far the couch is from his workbench. That is how far Steve will be from him from now on. So much further than arms reach.

It hits him then, like a kick to the stomach, that maybe he needed those hugs too.

He takes a breath and attempts to blink away the moister that was quickly gathering behind his eyes.

“Yeah, that.” Steve says, shifting. Tony looks up to him to see that the man had folded his arms across his chest, something Tony had learnt the man did when he was feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable. He had made Steve feel uncomfortable.

All the butterflies that had flying around his stomach earlier were now long since dead, relaxed now with what felt like a led brick. “Okay” he whispers.

“I, uhh…” Steve clears his throat. “I just wanted to thank you, Tony.”

“What, really?” Tony asks, confused.

“I appreciate you reaching out to me. I wasn’t in a good place… and having you by my side? It helped. More than you could ever know.” Steve says quietly.

Tony gives Steve a small, wobbly smile. “I glad, Steve” he says. “You actually mean a lot to me, you know?”

Steve’s eyes light up at his words. “You do?” the man asks.

“Yeah, Steve, you do” he says.

“You mean a hell of a lot to me too, Tony” Steve says, taking a few steps forward. Tony watches as Steve steels himself for what he wants to say next, he has that look in his eyes, as if he was sizing up a challenge, that fire that Tony loves to see dance behind Steve’s eyes. “As that is the case… would you like to get dinner with me sometime?” Steve’s face is bright red with embarrassment but he pushes on “…as a date?”

“As in, a date date?” Tony asks, needing that clarification.

“A date date” Steve says, giving him a shy smile. “I’m fairly sweet on you, to be honest”

“If that is the case...” Tony says, getting up from his chair, closing the distance between them. He wraps his arms around Steve's trim waist, drawing him close, he lets his hands wonder across Steve's broad back and up under his shirt. Steve smiles, leaning into his embrace. “I’d love too” Tony says, bring his lips down on Steve’s in a soft kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first time writing a 5+1 fic. I am very proud of myself, I hope I did okay.
> 
> ~✨~  
>   
> ⋆Other sites I'm on are linked in [my profile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DepressingGreenie/profile).  
> ⋆If you want to remix/create something inspired by my work feel free (so long as it isn't hateful and doesn't hurt anyone). Show me, I'd Love to see it 💖 Link to my work with AO3 'Inspired by function' if you post it to AO3.  
>   
> ~✨~


End file.
